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Category Archives: politics

My Deeply Held Beliefs Say Go to Hell

Oh…you want to use my services? Yeahhhhh, that’s a problem. Look you seem nice and all, but I just can’t do it, because what you…do…and are…is…frowned upon by my religion. But I have an excellent reason for discrim…uh, declining to serve you. See, my ancestors chose to follow an abridged version of a religion practiced […]

You Know… Morons.

I’m not excusing Obama and his administration for the recent revelation of all that juicy phone and Internet data they’ve been amassing, but… I always imagine that whoever is president, on their first day someone takes them to a room filled with certain people from the intelligence community, private industry, the military, and the like. […]

Cliff Fiscal (Not Pictured)

Yeah, I went to school with Cliff Fiscal. Weird kid. He’d turn up out of nowhere at parties he wasn’t invited to, and you could never get him to leave. He’d never bring anything, of course, but he’d constantly wonder aloud if we’d have enough food and drinks to last the night—not that he’d make […]

“Big Deal! It’s Not Like You Old People Vote Anyway!”

I wonder if the GOP realizes that the crop of candidates they’ve been grooming all these years—the guys and gals who truly believe Ayn Rand was on to something, and think perpetually steamrolling austerity over the middle- and lower-classes is not only a good idea but also a NEW one—are hollow-headed, starry-eyed morons; dare I […]

I Am Unhappy! What Are YOU Going to Do About It!?!

There’s a certain type of leftyish pundit/commenter who strikes me as the sort who hangs out with you only to bitch about how you’ve failed him. He comes over, raids the fridge, and complains that you never stock the kind of beer and food HE likes. Then he strides around and critiques your books, furniture, […]

AGGGGGHHHHH!

The oral aspect is alarming. Share this:

Where West Side Story Meets Dawn of the Dead

Note: I’m currently working on a Gapers Block piece about the Portage Theater and efforts to prevent its purchase by the Chicago Tabernacle Church. Some passages and sentiments may carry over to that article, but the GB article will be more history-heavy. Just FYI. Monday night I attended the Save the Portage Theater rally. Appropriately, […]

Third Runner-Up for the Stephen Colbert Somewhat-Lookalike Contest

William J. Kelly says vote for him, because NO, YOU DA MAN! Share this:

Damn, I Was Hoping It Was the Same Night

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For My Next Trick, I Will Fight Crime with This Photograph of a Gun

I certainly won’t say that Molly Norris should have censored herself (especially considering the dweeby innocuousness of her own cartoon), and that she needed to placate the world’s fundamentalist freaks. That just lends ammo those who think honoring other religions’ points of etiquette is the same as mailing plutonium to bin Laden. No, this is […]