HEARTWRENCHING—Racist grandpa gets new glasses, sees people of color as human for first time.
DAWWWWWWW! See adorable baby’s first taste of chocolate, bacon grease, and gamma rays.
POW! HILARIOUS! Daredevil show-off graduate gets PUNKED as his ass becomes stuck in dead-end job for 10 years!
BOOM! WHOOPSY-DOODLE! Bikini-clad car-washing cheerleader had no idea why the crowd was CHEERING until the judges awarded her the John Newbery Medal for Children’s Literature.
PANDA-MONIUM! Adorable panda sneezes, sparking hilariously decimating worldwide panda-emic.
I KNOW, I KNOW, JESUS CHRIST GET OFF MY BACK ALREADY, MA Adorable goat’s baas and brays sound EXACTLY like your parents criticizing your life choices.
HAVE A TISSUE READY because for some reason this video of a hippo eating a watermelon causes your laptop to spew unidentifiable fluids.
CUH-YOOOOOOOOT! See unsettling toothless baby’s first gummy ingestion of an entire 28 ounce porterhouse steak.
WHOMP! KABLOOEY! BUH-BONNNNNGGGG!!! Patriot hero cop shuts down protesting quarterback by telling him he raises valid points about institutionalized racism and, based on his own experience, agrees that many police officers operate with flagrant disregard for the law and should be dismissed and arrested.
GOOD LUCK TRYING NOT TO SMILE!!! Series of flashing lights, high-pitched bat screeches, and mind-warping scenes from the Afterlife induce a state of rigor mortis in the viewer. Death is only a beginning. Death is waiting. Share this (and DEATH) with your friends!
OH NO HE DIN’T! OH YES HE DIN! AT LEAST I THINK HE DIN. DIN’T HE? Republican OWNS liberal female senator with shattering put-down while throwing rocks at her because that’s how he shows he likes her.
OOBA-DOOBA! FLOOBITY-WOOBITY! Hummina hummina hummina p-KOW! p-KOW! p-KOW! GLUNGGGGGGGG!!!! Oh thank God, the attack is over. Hey, do you MIND? I have a medical condition. I can’t help it. Show some consideration, you insensitive shits.
THE VIDEO TRUMP DOESN’T WANT YOU TO SEE because he didn’t get it. What? Is that loser jellyfish doing something besides just floating there? And what’s with the huge pile of shoelaces? Is this supposed to be funny? He doesn’t get it and wants his fellow Americans to forget clicking on this garbage.
SMART-ALECK TEENS THOUGHT HE WAS A HELPLESS OLD MAN!!! Gelatinous inseminoid oozes from geriatric cocoon to absorb screaming teenagers on subway car.
REAL GHOST CAUGHT ON CAMERA but refused to sign the waiver so we had to blur his face, which kind of defeats the purpose since he’s pretty amorphous already.
WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT I mean, you won’t be SURPRISED, per se. The idiot juggles blasting caps while wearing a team mascot costume and gargling ghost peppers and grain alcohol at the same time. You know what? We all get a little stupider every time someone clicks this monstrosity. Just…just move on, and pray for humanity.
ZOMG BABY WON’T STOP EATING! OH GOD, THE DOOR IS LOCKED! HE’S CRAWLING THIS WAY! HELP US! (BANG BANG BANG!) HELP US! See repellently insatiable crocodilian infant’s first taste of human flesh.