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Category Archives: news

künstwerk

Reprinting a couple of pieces of mine from the months after September 11. künstwerk Review of the here is new york photo exhibit February 4–March 30, 2002 In the shaky days after Sept. 11, German composer Karlheinz Stockhausen was roundly misquoted as describing the WTC attacks as the greatest work of art ever. Not so. […]

My Deeply Held Beliefs Say Go to Hell

Oh…you want to use my services? Yeahhhhh, that’s a problem. Look you seem nice and all, but I just can’t do it, because what you…do…and are…is…frowned upon by my religion. But I have an excellent reason for discrim…uh, declining to serve you. See, my ancestors chose to follow an abridged version of a religion practiced […]

A Mighty Bastard Is Your God

Whenever a GOP idiot says God approves of something reprehensible, try to imagine the following exchange happening with a co-worker. God (in the Next Cube): Say, Brad, what’s wrong? Brad: (Crestfallen) My… teenage daughter was… raped last night. God: Tsk. Oh, that’s a shame. (Scratches head) Say, was she dressed like a whore? That might […]

That Reminds Me…

My wife and I have yet to mind-fuck our four-year-old son and arrange to have a bizarre and embarrassing photo chase him down for the rest of his life. What I want to know is NOT why people do things like this (simple answer, with 6 billion of us on the planet, a large percentage […]

Of Blind Pigs

David Brooks and I, in a rare alignment of planets, agree on something. Performing his usual trick of writing a book review and piggy-backing on another writer (usually issuing his own spin on the writer’s intentions), he addresses literary darling Jonathan Franzen’s latest book Freedom. In-between the sycophantic flattery to ensure he’s on future guest […]

For My Next Trick, I Will Fight Crime with This Photograph of a Gun

I certainly won’t say that Molly Norris should have censored herself (especially considering the dweeby innocuousness of her own cartoon), and that she needed to placate the world’s fundamentalist freaks. That just lends ammo those who think honoring other religions’ points of etiquette is the same as mailing plutonium to bin Laden. No, this is […]