Skip to content

Category Archives: kooks

Man of Brains, Man of Beef

Captain Prolix

Mike: So, are you going to finish that novel? Me: Yes, eventually. Mike: Well, how much is left? Where are you at? Me: Chapter 20 of Section 2. Mike: (Gapes) Really? Me: Wait a second. (I leave and return with the print-out of Section 1) Here it is. Mike: That’s it? Me: No, that’s just […]

The Truth

You’re all waiting for me to make a mistake, aren’t you?

Let Us Now Praise Crazy Men

I honestly had no idea there was a statue of Captain Streeter in Chicago. Now we need one for the Unknown Brick Stealer.

World With End, Amen

Received one of these today on Michigan Avenue from one of those folks who think that if God isn’t always vying for mass world death, He’s just not doing His job. There’s got to be some money behind this group though. They had five trucks decorated like the one below.

Six Magnificent Classical-Music-Composing Bastards (You’ve Probably Never Heard Of)

Note: If you’re wondering why it looks like a Cracked magazine article, it’s because I pitched it to them first. by Dan Kelly Unless your parents favored tweed suits with elbow patches and made you practice arpeggios eight hours a day, it’s likely your most memorable classical music experience happened when Hans Gruber’s goons cracked […]

Phil Donahue, Old Soldier

Found near Pioneer Court on Michigan Ave.

The Rivoli

The Muslim Community Center at 4380 N. Elston Ave.—one of Chicago’s oldest mosques, I believe—has had problems in recent days. First-off, some brave, anonymous kook burned a Koran on their doorstep, while this week part of the their building’s facade crumbled off and injured a pedestrian. One good thing came of the latter event: the […]

They Conspired to Cover-Up the Financial Abuse, etc., Pt. 2

They Conspired to Cover-Up the Financial Abuse, etc.