Life Lesson
















Life was giving my friend Leslie shit, so I snuck up on him, knocked him out cold, dragged him to my car, and threw him in the trunk. I drove Life out to a remote location where I yanked him out of the trunk and kicked him half to death. Then I called Death. He cackled and walked the rest of the way from his house join in the beat down. Life swore he’d back off, but not before he man-checked me with a punch to the crotch and ran off. I might have avoided the punch if he were a taller man, but Life’s short.

You Know… Morons.

I’m not excusing Obama and his administration for the recent revelation of all that juicy phone and Internet data they’ve been amassing, but… I always imagine that whoever is president, on their first day someone takes them to a room filled with certain people from the intelligence community, private industry, the military, and the like. Then they tell the president, “Let’s understand something. On the face of it, you’re in charge of all that stuff over there—the economy, defense, social programs—but this… what WE do… nobody touches it but us and our appointees. Now, if any of what we do ever comes to light, you’re going to take the heat, so make damn sure you keep this all hush-hush. Play ball and we’ll even let you get in on some of this action. Sound good? If not, you’re finished. We don’t mean we’ll assassinate you. We’ll just make it impossible for you to get things done. Stick with us and you may even rack up a few wins.” Then the Prez, if he isn’t a black-hearted or dim-witted stooge already, says, “Sigh… Well… okay.”

It not so much a cabal of ancient evil of supernatural intelligence and power that stretches back for centuries, as it is a bunch of glorified executives trying to keep the machinery working. Except, like most people in management, they have no new ideas and keep falling back on Draconian reactions, “Well, maybe if we just, you know, crimped civil rights a little bit—just a LITTLE bit—we could catch more bad guys? You know, just to be safe. But hey, maybe if we crimped them A LOT, we’d be even safer! Stuff’s gotta get done, you know?”

I’m certain these people never see themselves as the bad guys. They just have a duty to maintain the status quo, y’know, and to do it with no interference at all.

Well, maybe not ancient evil. Stupid evil, more like.

Just Thinking Aloud

Inspired by recent events, but applicable in general.

As a rule, noncombatants only amass and fight against the odds in large numbers when they’re seriously aggrieved. Their motivations may differ, and their methods may be questionable, but when it comes down to, “We’re being discriminated against, injured, and murdered; we just want relief—stop hurting us or we’ll overthrow you,” and you’re the one they’re protesting, it is very likely you’re the bad guy.