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Category Archives: ramble

Deco

I won’t say where, but I recently encountered one of the coolest security guards in the world. I was visiting a lovely Art Deco edifice a while back, and I wanted to take a few pix of the sedately ornate lobby, which featured the inevitable slim, half-naked figures that decorated the era’s most fashionable elevator […]

Penny for the Old Guy, Guv’ner?

                          Remember, remember, the 4th of November When Guy Fawkes and all of his ilk Said, “Tomorrow do treason; Today: shop for cheese and Pork chops and yogurt and milk.”

Just to Be Clear: I Wish We a Had a Thousand More Like Him

“I’m an asshole. You’re an asshole. Why are we such assholes? We should be nicer to each other. Fuck me. Fuck you. Fuck everything. Why don’t we appreciate LIFE and NATURE more? Technology is shit. Don’t you just wanna kill your kids? Fuck me. Fuck you. Fuck meeeeee. Thank you! Good night!” My impression of […]

Here Comes a Chopper, to Chop Off Your Head. Just Kidding.

I once joked with an individual from a well-off family that maybe we needed to send the rich a message about sharing and not mucking with others’ opportunities by creating intimidating golf cart-drawn guillotines. The guillotines would be periodically driven through particularly rich neighborhoods as a reminder that things can go south rather quickly, and […]

Flying Velvet Unicorn Meat

Note: I know this is well overdue, but I’ve been ruminating about this article and the writer’s plight for some time since reading it. Basically, here’s why it’s okay for writers (and other artists) to think the world owes them a living when we provide services. Expecting otherwise is downright un-American. When you’re younger and […]

Life Lesson

                              Life was giving my friend Leslie shit, so I snuck up on him, knocked him out cold, dragged him to my car, and threw him in the trunk. I drove Life out to a remote location where I yanked him […]

You Know… Morons.

I’m not excusing Obama and his administration for the recent revelation of all that juicy phone and Internet data they’ve been amassing, but… I always imagine that whoever is president, on their first day someone takes them to a room filled with certain people from the intelligence community, private industry, the military, and the like. […]

Just Thinking Aloud

Inspired by recent events, but applicable in general. As a rule, noncombatants only amass and fight against the odds in large numbers when they’re seriously aggrieved. Their motivations may differ, and their methods may be questionable, but when it comes down to, “We’re being discriminated against, injured, and murdered; we just want relief—stop hurting us […]

Cryyyyyyyyying, OOoooooverrrrrr Yooouuuuuuuuu!

The surprise that Obama would choke up (“show emotion,” as ABC’s site refers to it) while thanking his staffers reminds me of the older relatives who think of me as one of those “new fathers”—that is, a guy who’s deeply involved in raising his kids. They mean it admiringly, but it’s funny that in 2012 […]

Cliff Fiscal (Not Pictured)

Yeah, I went to school with Cliff Fiscal. Weird kid. He’d turn up out of nowhere at parties he wasn’t invited to, and you could never get him to leave. He’d never bring anything, of course, but he’d constantly wonder aloud if we’d have enough food and drinks to last the night—not that he’d make […]