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Category Archives: stories

Ten Books That Have Stuck with Me Off the Top of My Head as I Make Them Up

Thursday, September 4, 2014

1. Teddy’s Skin by Margaret Wise Brown—The peculiar recurrence of furry animals and fur-lined rooms in Brown’s work becomes apparent in this little-known and strangely horrifying entry in the author’s whimsical oeuvre. Uncommonly, Brown is a character in her own children’s book, having been made by the Color Kittens when they mixed together “all the […]

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Oh, Henry!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Wrote this about six years ago. Its message, however, is ETERNAL. The Gift of the Magi by Way of Mr. Dan Kelly Biff and Muffy married against their wealthy parents’ wishes and were subsequently disowned and left to survive on their own devices. Still, though they had little but a few sticks of furniture and […]

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I Can Haz Cannibalizm Bacon?

Monday, June 4, 2012

Let’s imagine that through some set of circumstances, you end up attending a soda pop bottle collectors’ convention. Perhaps, like me, you collect soda pop bottles, and turning up at such a convention wouldn’t be a surprise to you (I haven’t attended any myself), but in this instance let’s assume you don’t give a damn […]

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The Proper Preparation of Haint Meat: A Pamphlet for the Edification of the Public

Friday, March 2, 2012

In times of economic distress and great privation, it seems fitting to peruse the afterworld for alternative comestibles. As the price of animalistic meat, by example, becomes more dear, one must seek quasi-organic venues for the basic proteins. But whereas the restrictions of species, edibleness, poisonous issue, extinction, fictionality, taboo, ethos, vainglory, and mobility forbid […]

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