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I’m Tired of These Old Worn-Out Emotions

I need a new emotion that combines rage with tears of frustration and self-righteousness. Something like anger and sadness mixed together. SANGRINESS. I would become sangry whenever someone I don’t even know is more successful than I am. “Why so sangry?” people would ask as they found me tearfully punching a brick wall. “Because life is so UNFAIR!” I’d howl. “”Ah, you are suffused in sangriness,” they would say. “We will leave you be. But first, here is money.”