I just read an article about a new study that discovered that I should start prefacing my opinions with either “According to this article I read…” or “I just read about a study that states…” because most people will believe ANY sentence that starts that way. I also read about a study in the same article that proved plantains can increase your lifespan and get your kids into good schools, but only if you shove them in your ears. It’s true! It was in, uh, Salon, or Granta maybe… possibly Field and Stream. I forget.