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Author Archives: Mr. Dan Kelly

Chicago writer interested in many things.

Teenage Film Synopses #3

“So, like, this army guy is in his hotel room and he’s totally fucked up and punches the mirror, because he keeps  saying, “I miss the jungle… I miss the jungle… I gotta go in the jungle…” while this weird fucking music is playing. Because, I guess, he like lost his friend Charlie there, and […]

DVD Menu Project, Films Watched January 3, 2011

Photo a Day 2011, #3

Sorry About That

DVD Menu Project, Films Watched January 2, 2011

A Useless Resolution: Photos of the menu pages of all the DVDs I watch this year.

Photo a Day 2011, #2

Photo a Day 2011, #1

Father of the God Damned Year

Building a puppet theater for my son for his third birthday tomorrow. Not bad, but I’ve really got to get better at joinery. Also, don’t fear the router, Dan.

Teenage Film Synopses #2

So, like, this rich guy really liked his sleigh, and he called it Rosebud, but then he died. And then the movie is about him as a kid who, like, gets adopted by another rich guy, and he grows up and starts a newspaper with his friends. But he’s like a really good guy at […]

Teenage Film Synopses #1

Inspired by a comment from Ms. Kathleen Hein. There was like this guy, right? And like his family? And they went to this hotel and it snowed a lot. And then a bunch of ghosts and team mascots were there and he went all crazy and shit and like, totally killed this bald black guy […]