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Author Archives: Mr. Dan Kelly

Chicago writer interested in many things.

Something I Didn’t Need to See, and Which You Probably Didn’t Need to See Either

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Cigarette resting in discarded panties in the hardware store parking lot. One of life’s mysteries.

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Monday, May 17, 2010

Shit’s gotta end. That’s all I’ll say. Sorry. It was a ponderous night. Ponderous few weeks, in fact. And it’s all happening when I’m feeling creative.

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My First National Exposure: An Auspicious Start

Monday, May 17, 2010

Sent to me by my friend Kathy, who is plundering her personal archives. From The Nose… July 1994. Edited down from a longer piece (I was told that it was “too literary” and needed to be tacked back a bit, which is fine, because The Nose wasn’t Harper’s). Oh, so much has changed since then. […]

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You Know, There Are Two Sides to Every One-Dimensional Object

Friday, May 14, 2010

All right! All right! Hellloooooo, Chicago! Here they are, together for the first time ever on this stage! I give you… the folks who comment on every single god damned Chicago Tribune article posted online! On bass and guitar… the monsters who think (1) sassy grade schoolers should have the blood whipped out of them, […]

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Welcome to Nate’s Nightmare

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Nate awoke last night at 12 Midnight. He’s a good sleeper, and for the past year, with a few exceptions, he’s stayed out cold, all night from the moment his head hit the pillow (side note: it wasn’t until this week that we bought him his first pillow). When Nate does emerge from his nightly […]

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Words of Advice for Young People

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

At some point, you have to accept the fact that people don’t get any smarter if you yell at them. And you don’t feel any better for having done so. At least, you’ll realize that after tilting at your 6,000th windmill.

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Family Values

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Every now and again, while reading to Nate, playing with him, or cuddling and singing with him before bedtime, I realize there’s a two-year-old somewhere being turned into a bully by his barbarian family. That’s a shame, and that kid has my sympathies, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Anyway, someday, that kid […]

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Such Great Heights

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

My dentist has her offices in the Garland Building on Wabash. Having my teeth scraped and my gums poked is made somewhat more bearable by the fantastic view I have of the lakefront from the dentist’s chair. Truly, it’s a gorgeous sight, especially during the summer when all the rich folks sail their boats out […]

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Nate Takes a Few Pictures with My Old Camera

Sunday, May 2, 2010
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I Can’t Understand Why I Didn’t Get Dates in High School

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

And I didn’t even do most of the programming. I just tagged along with an even bigger dork and provided the text.

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