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Category Archives: nate

Young Weegee

I bought a tripod, and while explaining to Nate what it was for and how it worked, he asked, “Can I take your picture?” Sure thing, buddy. Nate kept taking pictures, but from my perspective he wasn’t holding the button down long enough. Turns out he was doing just fine. He even adjusted the tripod […]

The Goddamned Batmorality and Batemperance Society

This morning I was helping Nate get dressed, and I suited him up in one of his two or three Batman shirts. It looks like a Dick Giordano Batman, courageously going forth to fight the bad guys with Gotham City as a backdrop. I noted that the shirt had a caption: Me: (Pointing at each […]

What the Hell Is Nate Talking About? A Guide.

If Nate Says: “I want to see the big man video.” He Means: “Kindly play the Black-Eyed Peas’ ‘Let’s Get It Started’ video for me for the hundredth goddamned time.” [Assumedly, is the big man, but this is unclear.] If Nate Says: “I want to see the man in the black hat video.” He […]

Daddy Reads Too Much

Whenever Nate cleans up at home, he sings a song that he learned at school. I think it’s based on this one: It’s time to clean up, clean up Everybody do your share Clean up, clean up Soon the mess will not be there Since he’s three he hasn’t quite gotten all the words, so […]

Father of the God Damned Year

Building a puppet theater for my son for his third birthday tomorrow. Not bad, but I’ve really got to get better at joinery. Also, don’t fear the router, Dan.

Two Autobiographical Stories My Son Inexplicably Asks Me to Retell

Nate is utterly rapt when I tell him these stories, and he wants me to tell them again and again and again. I know not why, my liege. Note that I am telling the below stories the same way I tell them to my three-year-old son. Don’t expect Faulkner. 1. Once, when I was a […]

Latest Shadow Box

Every item Nate noticed, picked up, and handed to me over the past three years during our walks.

The True Terror Lies in the Maroon Florsheim Oxfords

The boy and I made a fine scary-crow for Halloweens.

Welcome to Nate’s Nightmare

Nate awoke last night at 12 Midnight. He’s a good sleeper, and for the past year, with a few exceptions, he’s stayed out cold, all night from the moment his head hit the pillow (side note: it wasn’t until this week that we bought him his first pillow). When Nate does emerge from his nightly […]

Family Values

Every now and again, while reading to Nate, playing with him, or cuddling and singing with him before bedtime, I realize there’s a two-year-old somewhere being turned into a bully by his barbarian family. That’s a shame, and that kid has my sympathies, but there’s nothing I can do about it. Anyway, someday, that kid […]