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Category Archives: rant

As You Go Forth into Blah Blah Blah

Maybe it’s just me, but I think most commencement speeches fail because the greater number of listeners will do just fine in the world since—unlike the more philosophical speaker…unless he or she is a captain of industry or similar WANT-TAKE-HAVE type—they’re individuals who don’t over-think the mechanism of life. They live without any real hesitation, […]

Cliff Fiscal (Not Pictured)

Yeah, I went to school with Cliff Fiscal. Weird kid. He’d turn up out of nowhere at parties he wasn’t invited to, and you could never get him to leave. He’d never bring anything, of course, but he’d constantly wonder aloud if we’d have enough food and drinks to last the night—not that he’d make […]

A Mighty Bastard Is Your God

Whenever a GOP idiot says God approves of something reprehensible, try to imagine the following exchange happening with a co-worker. God (in the Next Cube): Say, Brad, what’s wrong? Brad: (Crestfallen) My… teenage daughter was… raped last night. God: Tsk. Oh, that’s a shame. (Scratches head) Say, was she dressed like a whore? That might […]

“Henceforth, Down Will Be Defined as Up”

With a wife, sister, sister-in-law, cousin, and many friends working in teaching and/or the CPS, I’m fairly familiar with what their day-to-day lives and jobs are like. Consequently, it’s amazing to read or hear the avalanche of not only negative but also grossly uninformed reactions to the strike. I’d compare it to going outside one […]


I don’t like the proliferation of security cameras in public, partly because it’s invasive, secondly because it creates the mindset that crime is best dealt with through cheap gestures. However, there’s one civil liberties non-argument against security cams in public that I’d like to see done away with, mainly because it frames the issue in […]

I Am Unhappy! What Are YOU Going to Do About It!?!

There’s a certain type of leftyish pundit/commenter who strikes me as the sort who hangs out with you only to bitch about how you’ve failed him. He comes over, raids the fridge, and complains that you never stock the kind of beer and food HE likes. Then he strides around and critiques your books, furniture, […]

At The Theater to See Moonrise Kingdom Last Night…

(My wife leaves to use the facilities. I’m one seat in from the end in an already poor viewing position on the far right of the theater. I spy a group of four mature semi-latecomers  coming in, looking for seats. I know they’re heading for me, and I’m prepared to move, once they show they […]

I Can Haz Cannibalizm Bacon?

Let’s imagine that through some set of circumstances, you end up attending a soda pop bottle collectors’ convention. Perhaps, like me, you collect soda pop bottles, and turning up at such a convention wouldn’t be a surprise to you (I haven’t attended any myself), but in this instance let’s assume you don’t give a damn […]

Once Upon a Time, Blogs Were the Devil

You know, when you get right down to it, paper is a colossal waste of time. Everywhere you go, some jerkoff is just sitting there with a stack of paper in front of him, writing notes, doing work, recording some event or emotion for himself or others. You know what, man? I don’t give a […]

The Kryptonite of My Annoyance

I don’t know why, but… I really, really, REALLY can’t stand it when non-Cockney/non-southern women speak in “Cockney” or southern accents. It drives me up the fucking wall. Don’t try to be cute and do it around me either. I’ll leave the room. I’ve got to get back on Twitter. I’m just embarrassing myself here.