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Action Words to Use in Your Resume

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Assgravated

Bloodied my knuckles brutally upon weaker co-workers

Cried repeatedly

Drizzled across chest, received positive feedback vis a vis writhing, pleasuremoans

Emascuglazed

Fungussied up

Gnutered

Hummed a merry tune whilst cobbling, guv’nor

Idiotliminated

Jabbed and twisted in back, repeatedly

Killed again and again and again, so much blood, oh God, so much blood

Licked it all clean

Meatjuiced

Nailed it, fucking

Orgasminized files, secretarial pool

Putrescented

Quackstrated

Rhythm ‘n Boozed

Stopped doing that disgusting thing with my teeth and fingernails

Ticklemonstered!

Uvulaminated

Vaselined up, yeahhhh, nice an’ greeeeeeasy…

Wrist Assessment

XXX-rated all products filed under the XXX product code, particularly plugs

Y, dear God, WHY am I still working in this shithole?

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