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Category Archives: work

Action Words to Use in Your Resume

                Assgravated Bloodied my knuckles brutally upon weaker co-workers Cried repeatedly Drizzled across chest, received positive feedback vis a vis writhing, pleasuremoans Emascuglazed Fungussied up Gnutered Hummed a merry tune whilst cobbling, guv’nor Idiotliminated Jabbed and twisted in back, repeatedly Killed again and again and again, so much […]

“That Simpson, he thinks he’s the pope of chili town.”—Chief Wiggum

Good gravy. Guess who’s the three-time winner of his company’s chili cook-off? C’est moi. Anyone want the recipe?

Horrible People I Have Worked With

I worked as a freelance copywriter for a catalog house back in the early 90s. After a while they offered me a permanent gig. At least I think they did. It’s been quite a while, and I think I would have had to be ensconced there for what happened to have made sense. Anyway, at […]


I’m a copy editor/copywriter for a living, and part of my job involves delivering edicts on our editorial style, establishing standards for how and why we say things in our communications. Got that? Anyway, a co-worker came over today and asked me, “Dan, do you have any standards?” “NOOOOOOO!!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!” I immediately replied, to […]