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Author Archives: Mr. Dan Kelly

Chicago writer interested in many things.

Protected: Fatal Doom, Chapters 4 and 5

Thursday, December 20, 2012

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Another Resurrected Christmas Post

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Writer’s Note: Posted this in LiveJournal a long time ago. Wow, I forgot how gross it gets. Also: this is not really about my family. It’s about my secret family across the country. Joyous Winterbludgeon We did not celebrate Christmas when I was a boy. My parents hated it with every fiber of their being. […]

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Oh, Henry!

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Wrote this about six years ago. Its message, however, is ETERNAL. The Gift of the Magi by Way of Mr. Dan Kelly Biff and Muffy married against their wealthy parents’ wishes and were subsequently disowned and left to survive on their own devices. Still, though they had little but a few sticks of furniture and […]

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Protected: Fatal Doom—Chapters 2 and 3

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

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Protected: Fatal Doom, Chapter 1

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

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Cryyyyyyyyying, OOoooooverrrrrr Yooouuuuuuuuu!

Friday, November 9, 2012

The surprise that Obama would choke up (“show emotion,” as ABC’s site refers to it) while thanking his staffers reminds me of the older relatives who think of me as one of those “new fathers”—that is, a guy who’s deeply involved in raising his kids. They mean it admiringly, but it’s funny that in 2012 […]

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Cliff Fiscal (Not Pictured)

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Yeah, I went to school with Cliff Fiscal. Weird kid. He’d turn up out of nowhere at parties he wasn’t invited to, and you could never get him to leave. He’d never bring anything, of course, but he’d constantly wonder aloud if we’d have enough food and drinks to last the night—not that he’d make […]

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99 Glass Balloons

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Many years ago, I read at an event covering the topic of writings found on the Internet. It was the late 90s, and the Web was still a brave and uncharted new world. The concept of uncompensated writers covering unusual and personal topics was novel enough to warrant this sort of attention. The guy who […]

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A Mighty Bastard Is Your God

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Whenever a GOP idiot says God approves of something reprehensible, try to imagine the following exchange happening with a co-worker. God (in the Next Cube): Say, Brad, what’s wrong? Brad: (Crestfallen) My… teenage daughter was… raped last night. God: Tsk. Oh, that’s a shame. (Scratches head) Say, was she dressed like a whore? That might […]

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To Do List 10/17/12

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

____ Cease being worthless and weak, poss. through pottery class. ____ Eventually, all will come to loathe me. Outline 12-step plan to expedite this. ____ Set date for a complete restructuring of personality. ____ Re-assess/-align/-ject all I have learned, believe in, and have become by Tuesday. ____ Instigate plan to become smarter, focused, less inane, […]

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