The more I write this book, the closer I come to the end, the more I know it will never see the light of day.
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Wednesday, April 11, 2012
The Hunger Games is a total rip off of gladiatorial combat in ancient Rome. WHAT IS THIS BS?
Ah! ‘Tis the first day of spring, and already the locals (though usually it’s visitors to the neighborhood) are engaging in the exciting sport of car-sitting. For you see, when the weather gets nice, it’s time to go outside, drive somewhere, and then sit in the goddamn car with your six closest friends while you […]
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
“But there was more to it than just coping with such traumatic situations. In later life, despite being hailed by so many as an American genius, Vonnegut felt that the literary establishment never took him seriously. They interpreted his simplistic style, love of science fiction and Midwestern values as being beneath serious study.” Never minding […]
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
Some of the worst people to work with are the ones who deliver their requests with a “Do not disappoint me” tone, even though you’ve rarely, if ever, disappointed them before. They seem less interested in generating good work and more in love with the idea of their own limited power. They provide little to […]
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For many years I avoided buying books at Borders’ web site for the very reasons you’re probably thinking right now: they were overpriced and their stock was curiously limited. While I made regular browsing and buying visits to stores around Chicago (my son’s library was nicely padded out by their expansive children’s section), I dreaded […]
1. The large number of people who, whenever I posted admonishments against people who annoyed me in meatspace, thought I was speaking directly to them—against all evidence and even across state lines. Me: Curse you, foul creature, for failing to submit those TPS reports before the 3 p.m. meeting. I damn thee! Commenter: What? When […]
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Ranking on cast-iron hipsters is the primary hobby of part-time hipsters in denial—particularly if they’re mediocre journalists. I think it stems from a deep-rooted, despicable human instinct to piss on an anonymous mass of humans to feel better about oneself. Sadly, for the complainers, it’s no longer acceptable to focus this rage on certain races […]
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Every time I think of joining the Facebook groups for my old grade school and high school, I visit the sites and the feeling goes away. “Hey! Remember that guy with the thing? And he did that thing by the thing in the gymnasium? OMFG THAT WAS HILARIOUS! COME ON, YOU REMEMBER! THAT GUY!” “What […]
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Christian Lander strikes me as the kind of high school/college nerd who—saddened that he lacked the musculature to become a true bully—realized he could elevate his sense of self-worth by indiscriminately chopping up things the other nerds liked. Chris Ware pointed out this phenomenon in one of his hilarious parody ads. Selling the product “RESENTMENT” […]